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This time he’s climbing for his life. Today’s climbing centers on Red Rambo the Hippy, a former member of Oracle’s Web ADI (an elite Software Development unit) who coded in Java and is a PhD student at UQ. Rambo has difficulty adjusting to hippy uni life and wanders the campus as a drifter. Our story begins as he is seeking out his friend the Grasshopper, apparently the only other Release Engineer from his unit to make it out of Oracle alive. Rambo runs afoul of Gangbang Wall, a grade 23 climb on the ultimate Urban Crag called Kangaroo Point cliffs. Gangbang Wall drives Rambo out of the crag while reminding him the climbers of Kangaroo Point don’t appreciate people of his kind: hippies. Ramba seeks another route to climb, but tonight a school group had setup on just about everything at the cliff. Ramba resorts to watching others from his crew climb, where he is beaten by Gilligan, the crew’s sadistic lead climber who happens to still be at Oracle. Gilligan climbs GangBang Wall to the top. Some of the crew are sympathetic to Rambo, but are also ignorant or meek. During the beatings, Ramba has flashbacks to his time as a Prisoner of Oracle (PoO). Talk of the Application Product Lifecycle, as the bouldering Giggler heckles him, brings to Rambo’s mind horrible torture when he was a PoO and causes Rambo to have a psychotic episode. He violently disables the Chock who then also ran afoul on Pterodactyl. Fleeing Gangbang’s belay station, Rambo quickly ties into XXXX’s top rope setup. Only moments before had the Teacher fell from the crux of XXXX in a failed dyno but dogs his way to the top. Rambo then confronts the Teacher, a belay device pushed at him. He threatens chaos should he be trashed talked again: "In the school yard you’re the law, out here it’s me. I could have cleaned all those climbs. I could have lead it. Don’t push it or I’ll give you a solo you won’t believe. Let it go. Let it go." Rambo then climbs suddenly. The Teacher is clearly shaken, but refuses to let go and belays him. Word gets around at the base of cliff, and the incident gets the attention of Rambo’s former Release Engineer, the Grasshopper, who warns that trying to out climb Rambo is suicidal; his robotics training and experience make him far better than anyone else. The Grasshopper suggests letting Rambo go; they can probably pick him up working at a car wash and nobody else will get hurt. The Teacher dismisses that advice and continues to belay Rambo. The Bruiser and Nicey evacuate the cliffs to seek a safe haven away from the pissing contests. The Grasshooper talks to The Teacher for the final time, advising him to give up his mania of belaying Rambo. Just let him down. The Teacher staunchly refuses. Rambo spots the crux. After destroying the start of the climb, he manages to get a few more metres up. Gilligan and The Teacher curse Rambo. Meanwhile, the Giggler was making a bold attempt on Gangbang Wall. And the Chock another attempt on Pterodactyl, this time with the right footwear. Rambo was effectively surrounded. The Grasshopper appears and tells him that his mini-climb with XXXX is over; there’s no hope of cleaning it, saying "It’s Over Christoper. It’s Over." Rambo responds with, "Nothing is over! Nothing! You just don’t turn it off! It wasn’t my climb. You asked me, I didn’t ask you!" He breaks down sobbing and tells a story about his friend Mikey Wise who was replaced by a shoe shining boy. With no purpose left, Rambo gives in and descends from the cliff. Once again Gilligan, the Grasshopper and Red, who will henceforth be known as Rambo the Hippy. Try to picture the following: Harry Potter glasses on Rambo; Paisley Park style head band; Red Rambo hairdo and you have got yourself Rambo the Hippy. Gilligan was first up and cruised easily to the crux. However, his dodgy finger and foot placements allowed the crux to be unconquered. Gilligan’s second attempt was much The Grasshopper climb was pitiful. The first bolt presented a big challenge and decided to traverse around it. At the crux, with the help of Gilligan’s belaying the Grasshopper well up the wall to the last crucial move. No amount of hauling could get the Grasshopper past this. Still pumped he descend off the climb and then raced up By Ignorance in bare feet. Rambo the hippy pounced his way up to the crux. Like the rest of us he had the same difficulties. Knees Up Mother Brown Bigfoot started early with a 30 minute epic on By Ignorance: he managed to get both feet off the ledge without the aid of the wedgie manoeuvre, but that’s as far as he got. Next up, the Giggler failed to find anything funny about scary, dark ledges. She inspected all of the available footholds, but didn’t find any of them to her liking. Finally, Bigfoot tackled the climb a second time, but found that the strength in his forearms was spent. He decided to try the "chicken route" up the right hand side of the ledge and made good progress, but saw that Gilligan & Rambo had started packing up their TR gear so he decided to come down. There was one last bit of excitement as Bigfoot had climbed far off route and thus did a big Tarzan swing when he let go of the cliff. The rope stretched to the point that his feet touched back down on the ledge, where he was happy to have a more conventional descent from that point on.
And here we were with Rambo, the Teacher and I at the bottom of the cliffs, with our ropes setup on Brisbane Bitter (24) and Anonymous (14). I noticed the Teacher had started his stretching exercise regime. Both Rambo and I heckled the Teacher. Then a very civil debate between Rambo and the Teacher took place. I stayed out of it and as I have always done, warmed up on an easier climb (Anonymous) – as the research paper suggested to do instead of exercising. After my climb the guys were still debating: The Teacher supporting the myth Rambo employing his encyclopedia knowledge (his brain is probably a wiki) defending the research article. Rambo finally had his last words to say and took up Anonymous with great ease. Upon his return to earth, the debate continued. Somehow it had moved on to metabolism and how Teacher shits X times a day and his urine is clear in colour!! Way too much info dude. Now I can’t write on with the rest of the blog! 1: Web link to the Choice article about Stretching.
Continue reading To Stretch or Not To Stretch
Nicey was back on Anonymous. Her nemesis was the start of the arete, where she needed to gain enough height by popping her left foot up to enable her to bridge up towards the ledge. She did this without hesitation. Confidence in pulling off this move helped her reach the ledge for the first time. A quick traverse right and then came some awkward positions trying to reach the next ledge. Footholds became scarce and the holds not thank god enough. Nicey did well to improve from last weeks effort, as opposed to my climbing tonight. Chip My Pride Away My return to Chippa’s saw me peel off the crux every time. Fingers and wrist were very sore. Somewhere on the flat wall I am missing a crucial hold. A half move is all I require to reach the next hold in the important sequence. Meanwhile, Bigfoot was climbing Anonymous. Red had similar issues on the crux too. His best performance was at the bouldery start where he cleaned it with ease. We both had a small fall on the first bolt region trying to extend ourselves for the reachy hold. Meanwhile, Bigfoot was still climbing Anonymous. Gilligan was next. My money was on Bigfoot to reach the top based on his past successes with Anonymous and that none of us could climb Chippas. The bouldery start saw Gilligan try a slightly different sequence with his hands to mantle the ledge. He breezed it past the first couple of bolts to stand on the ledge before the face. Here Gilligan moved onto the crux and this time used a foot hold far out to the right which enabled him to easily reach the next hold. Here on in, it was all an easy sequence. Gilligan had reached the top and cleanly too. He screamed out aloud with jubilation. Meanwhile, Bigfoot was still climbing Anonymous. The Return of the Bigfoot After six months in self exile, Master Bigfoot stomped back into the climbing world to reclaim his first ever successful ascent, Anonymous. Although packing more muscle, 100+ kilos of it Gilligan and I setup our top ropes over Chip A Hold Away (23) and Anonymous (14). It was a perfect day for climbing despite the chilly start. No wind, not a cloud in the sky. At the base, a young family were doing a photo shoot with the cliffs as their backdrop. Unfortunately for them the timing was bad, the long shadows of the city were casting themselves on the cliffs as the sun was setting. The air was getting cooler and slowly more activity was moving around and up the cliffs. I lost the flip to see who would go up Chippa’s first. Its one of those climbs where you want to watch someone else in the hope you repeat the same successful moves or in my case do not repeat. The start of Chippa’s is a V3 boulder problem. Its a good hint to how the rest of the climb will be: sequencey. Chippa’s is a gym climbers delight. Most of the moves are performed in a set sequence and order. You could replicate this climb on a gym wall. I nailed the start, but struggled past the first two bolts to the "platform". My second climb I slipped at the start and my painful shoes was killing my big toe. The start involves a toe down hold which carries a lot of your weight and the hand holds are crimpers on an otherwise smooth wall. Gilligan also nailed the start but in both climbs he resorted to a dyno to reach the thank god ledge. Red nailed the start on his first climb without little effort. However, his second attempt was dismal and like me felt the pain of the big toe. From the platform of Chippa’s the face climbing starts. A small boulder problem to reach the first chipped hold. Here the sequence must be remembered to reach the other holds. The wrong sequence and you’ll find it even more difficult to proceed. Gilligans height seemed to help reach the holds where I needed an extra step up. Red blazed his way up to the crux and did very well to work things out. Unfortunately for the three of us we could only get past two or three moves on the face until we peeled off. Sometimes the falls were spectacular with the spectators belows cheering and jeering. Today my left hand is crippled. It hurts to bend and straighten it. My big toe was thumping all night with pain – damn crimpers, damn tight shoes and damn tiny toe holds. Damn it all Nicey’s first time on Anonymous saw her battle with the awkward start. Frustration set in, as did Gilligan, Red and I on Chippa’s. However, we encouraged her on and she eventually traversed her way to the ledge adjacent to Chippa’s. Here you must bridge and pop the feet up one by one to gain height to the thank god holds on the next ledge. At first, without even attempting it Nicey wanted to come down. Nicey did finally commit and her new found confidence was enabling her to bridge up the arete. We have all done this (even at the high grades). You are in the best position for the next move, you think about it for ages but then you are reluctant to move and call it quits. Without committing to the move you cannot say you gave it a proper go. Most of the time you will find by committing to the move, you will pull it off. Its a mind game up there. Guess what we are setting up on next week! |
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Where were we, thats right, Gilligan, the Grasshopper and Rambo the Hippy were confronting their nemesis Chip A Hold Away.
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